50 What if...? questions

I may not have mentioned this before, but one of the required textbooks for the course is a book that we simply do not like, or even hate. For me, I really hate the book that I chose. The book is Peace like a River, by Leif Enger. This is supposed to be a really good book, but when I read it, there was not a single thing I liked about it. That is the least of my opinion about it and there's more from where that came from.

For an assignment, we are to make 50 What if...? questions about the book. So here it goes.

1. What if I had never read the book?

2. What if the title did not have "Peace" in it, which had nothing to do with my feelings while reading the book?

3. What if I tore off the cover entirely?

4. What if the book never existed?

5. What if I knew what I was getting into when I read this book?

6. What if the moment my 10th grade teacher gave me this book, I said that I would not read it?

7. What if I read this book again?

8. What if I punched myself for writing the previous question?

9. What if I crossed out the author's name on the cover?

10. What if I replaced the author's name with "Leaf Anger"?

11. What if I sealed the book shut so that it could never be read again?

12. What if I made a YouTube video describing everything I would do to this book?

13. What if I told the owner of the bookstore that I bought this... paper garbage from that this book isn't worth spending money on?

14. What if I tossed this book straight to the garbage?

15. What if I did not need this book for a class, but had it anyway?

16. What if the writer of this book got tippers from satan while writing this monstrosity?

17. What if instead of dog poop in a burning bag prank, this book was used instead of the poop?

18. What if back in 10th grade, this was not a required book, would I find it less infuriating? (no)

19. What if I covered every page with paint or something to erase every word of the book?

20. What if people could see what I saw in this book back when I read it?

21. What if this book gave me any moment of actual interest?

22. What if the main character of this book wasn't so infuriating to me?

23. What if every page I turned while reading this book didn't make me cringe?

24. What if the book was completely rewritten to fit a science fiction genre?

25. What if the book disgraced the science fiction genre?

26. What if the book was not so bad that I could actually remember the main story of it?

27. What if I had not purged my mind of the story this book tried to burn into my mind?

28. What if I could go back in time to tell my past self NEVER to read the book?

29. What if I actually liked the book?

30. What if I was actually paying attention when I wrote the stupid question right before this one?

31. What if I told the teacher after reading a few pages that reading the book would make me go blind, deaf, and stupid?

32. What if I started to dislike people raised in Osakis, Minnesota because the writer was from there? (that would be unfair)

33. What if I said that burning the money spent on the book was a better experience than reading the book?

34. What if I could actually speak to the author of this mess?

35. What if I stopped referring to this thing as a book?

36. What if this book was a mistake?

37. What if me reading this trash was a mistake?

38. What if I'm the only person who dislikes this putrid pile of tree death?

39. What if I had the choice whether this dung heap ever came into existence?

40. What if I could remove every copy of this disgusting puke fest from the face of earth and beyond?

41. What if I could summarize, in one sentence, all my thoughts about this waste of memory?

42. What if there are a lot more people that hate this swine scribbling as much as I do?

43. What if there is someone who hates this pile of stinking rubbish more than I do?

44. What if the author of this rotten plague was someone closely related to me?

45. What if I could rewrite this dumpster tier stack of papers into an actual book?

46. What if this sack of monkey crap became... no, disgraced a video game?

47. What if this flea bitten messenger of doom is a tool that brings the apocalypse upon us? (the fleas died shortly afterward)

48. What if I misunderstood this pack of diarrhea cased slime?

49. What if I understood that violation of decency completely.

50. What if I had more questions to make for this indecent, castrating, feeble minded, nauseating, infuriating, corrupting, fever inducing, refuse scrubbing, swill treading, failed excuse of a BOOK to provide more entertainment than a fecal encrusted POTATO!

This was the worst stack of papers with words that I've ever read. There was no peace while I read these insidious words that laid in wait behind the cover. Before I read this poor piece of defecation, I never thought that a book could actually make me mad, but it appears as though someone has shown me that it is indeed possible to hate a book this much. (I withheld all swearing to prevent that anger inducing anomaly of pure hatred to bring me down to it's level.)

I feel like I might be a bit harsh on this thing, but it's how I feel about it.